Why Are You as a Parent So Anxious Watching Your Kid Play Youth Sports?
My wife and I couldn’t help but notice the mom sitting by us at our 9 year old son’s baseball game. She looked like a nervous wreck. She kept putting her head down in her palms each time her son came to bat. She was mumbling to herself. Then she would get up and nervously pace around.
Why was she so anxious? Her son was only playing a little league game. If anyone should be nervous, shouldn’t it be the kid who has to perform?
Maybe not everyone is as visibly anxious when their kid plays youth sports. But I am guessing there are times when you might have been more nervous about your kid’s performance than was necessary. I know this has been the case for me.
Why?
Is it the fear of them getting hurt? If yes, maybe they should play chess then?
Maybe it's the pressure to perform. You want your kid to do well, to succeed, to be the next sports superstar…..
Or perhaps it's the competitive spirit. You want your child's team to win, to be the best, to crush the opposition.
Perhaps we are so excited to scream from the social media rafters that our kid did well in a game. The prospects of not winning the championship or performing well on the field / court mean means we can’t share such good news with our followers. Is this causing the tension?
If we can connect with any of these motives, then our heart is in the wrong place. We’ve made the game about US, not THEM!
Next time you're at the game and feeling tense, take a step back. Think about the real purpose of youth sports: to provide kids with an opportunity to have fun, learn important life lessons and develop skills that will benefit them far beyond the field or court. Take the pressure to win / perform dial down a few levels. Instead, focus on supporting them with positivity and encouragement, regardless of the outcome. After all, it's their game, their journey, and your role is to cheer them on, win or lose. I think we would all be pleasantly surprised that when we as parents don’t put pressure on our kids, they actually are more likely to enjoy the sports and perform better!
This article was written by Kevin Anselmo, Editor of the Championing Character in Youth Sports Substack.
Want to write about a particular topic related to youth sports and parenting? We are keen to highlight various perspectives from different individuals on this Substack. You are welcome to submit a 300-500 word article. Email kevin.anselmo (at) gmail.com.