Why Do Parents Scream at Their Kids for Mistakes in Youth Sports?

Living vicariously through their kids, social press and high expectations are among the reasons we see such awful behavior among parents

It was a bright sunny afternoon in Sarasota, Florida. It seemed like the perfect conditions for a young eight year old boy named Cash to enjoy playing baseball with his friends. 

There was one huge problem. Cash was standing out in right field. About 15 feet away from Cash stood an intense man leaning against the fence outside of the field of play. He was screaming out orders with the same passion that an army officer would command soldiers in an intense war. It was Cash’s dad. There was actually a team coach standing on the right field line to instruct the outfielders. Nevertheless, Cash’s dad, a spectator, seemed to think that an extra voice would be helpful. 🤔

A weak fly ball was hit to right field. Cash stood under the ball. The ball sailed over his glove. Error. Cash’s dad went nuts. He kicked the fence multiple times. He started walking around in circles, swearing at his kid’s mishap. He then screamed out everything his son did wrong to lead to the error. Poor Cash sadly looked at his dad and explained that he lost the ball in the sun. “Don’t you ever talk back to me,” the father screamed. “I will come out there and kick the s*** out of you.” 

I observed this whole situation play out with great sadness for Cash. I wanted to approach Cash’s dad and politely explain that his antics were abusive and detrimental to the well-being of his son. If I pursued such a conversation, there is a chance I wouldn’t be typing out these words to you. Cash’s dad was in no mood for an impromptu behavior chat during the intensity of a youth baseball game.

Why?

What are some underlying root causes of this behavior? On this substack, I intend to explore this and other related questions. Here are some of my initial thoughts:

1. High Expectations: Some parents have excessively high expectations for their children's performance in sports. They may see their child as a potential star athlete and believe that intense pressure and criticism will push them to excel.

2. Living Vicariously: Some parents may be living vicariously through their children, hoping to fulfill their own unmet dreams and aspirations. Their child’s participation in sports represents a second chance to achieve their own goals.

3. Social Pressure: With so many touting their kids’ athletic performances on social media, some parents may feel social pressure to see their child achieve as well.

4. Financial investment: Parents often invest a significant amount of time and money into their child's participation in sports.This creates pressure for them to get their “money’s worth” in the form of their kid’s wins and sparkling stats.

5. Lack of Perspective: Some parents may lack perspective and prioritize sports success over character development.

Let me know your thoughts!

This article was written by Kevin Anselmo, Editor of the Championing Character in Youth Sports Substack.

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Want to write about a particular topic related to youth sports and parenting? We are keen to highlight various perspectives from different individuals on this Substack. You are welcome to submit a 300-500 word article. Email kevin.anselmo (at) gmail.com.